Saturday, April 5, 2014

I watched a movie the other day where a guy could travel back in time and change the outcome of what happened in life. It made me think that I wish I could do that. I wish I could go back in time to the day I met him. The moment he walked in with the bloody, and scarred face and just smile at him and not feel what I did at that moment. I've never felt so connected or drawn to someone in my life. When I think about it I almost want to kick myself because I don't know why. He had bandages and I could barely even see his features. Yet I was drawn to the man with the eye patch. Something about his kind soul instantly connected with mine. Had I known now what the road ahead would look like, I would have ran. Which brings me back to my original point - I wish I could change that moment. I wish I could change the fact that I made sure we sat next to each other that night. I would change that numerous times after that I made sure to be at every place I knew he would be at because I wanted to see him. I would change the fact that little old me would actually try and put effort into my looks because for once I cared what a guy actually thought of me. I would change me trying to tell my friends that this man was for me and we were going to end up together. I would change the fact that I was blinded by a man I thought I knew...but didn't.
If I could go back, I would smile at this pirate, shake his hand, walk away and sit on the couch with my girlfriends like every other night. Then I would chide myself for thinking there was something there that wasn't and never open my heart to something that would eventually change me forever.

If only.